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Baby loss Awareness: Support, Compassion, and Understanding

Writer: Karen Lafferty
Karen Lafferty
Oct 2
4 min read

When I first started specialising in grief, one of the main areas that I worked in was supporting women who had experienced pregnancy loss of some sort. Every October, families, healthcare professionals, and advocacy organisations across the UK come together for Baby loss Awareness Week (9–15 October). This week is dedicated to acknowledging the devastating impact of baby loss through pregnancy, birth, or in the early days of life. It is a time to raise awareness, honour every baby’s memory, and ensure families know they are not alone in their grief. While I'm a supporter of this movement, and the attention it brings to the often under-represented area of pregnancy loss, I also want to be clear that for families who experience the heartbreak of losing their baby, they remember them every day, not just once a year when professionals are shouting about it.


Honouring Every Story

The experience of losing a baby is profound and deeply personal. If you're a listener of the Grief Unedited podcast that I host, you'll likely have been touched by Clare and Helena's experiences of baby loss. Every family’s journey through grief is unique. For many, the pain does not fade with time; rather, it is something to be carried, woven through the fabric of daily living. During Babyloss Awareness Week, we create a space where these stories are heard, validated, and respected - I carry a deep wish that as a society, we find the courage to talk more openly about this type of loss, as I've seen first hand the incredible things that can come from these conversations.

Families often talk about the struggle to find words that reflect what they have endured. It is important to use sensitive language that honours their experience. For instance, many prefer the clear term “stillborn” rather than euphemisms, and avoid terms like “lost” which can feel dismissive or inaccurate. There is no such thing as closure, grief continues, but so does remembrance and love.


The Impact of Baby loss on Grief and Mental Health

The death of a baby can affect every aspect of a person’s life. Grief can manifest as overwhelming sadness, confusion, longing, or even numbness. The immediate days and weeks after a baby has died are often described as some of the most painful. However, research shows that the effects of baby loss on mental health can last for months or even years. The death of a baby is a death 'out of time' - meaning that for most of us we assume that we'll live a long and hopefully happy life, so when a baby dies, sometimes before they have even been born, it disrupts our assumptive world, leading to a sense of disbelief and confusion at how this can be.

Mothers and birthing parents may experience persistent or complicated grief, which can remain severe for a long time. Partners, co-parents, and siblings grieve too, but can sometimes feel unseen or unsupported. There can also be differences in how each parent experiences this grief, which sometimes places strain on their relationship.

Some parents feel pressure, internally or from others, to “move on,” consider another pregnancy, or find closure. In reality, there is no timeline for grief. Grieving parents frequently tell me that remembering and honouring their baby is crucial to their healing, and that their grief is an enduring testament to the love they forever hold. As long as they live, they will remember their baby/ babies.

Many families are also at increased risk of anxiety, depression, and trauma after baby loss. For some, these feelings are particularly intense if they have experienced previous bereavements or if there is a lack of social support.


The Importance of Compassionate Support

One of the most important aspects of Baby loss Awareness Week is highlighting the need for ongoing bereavement support. This support can take many forms:

  • Peer Support: Connecting with other families who have experienced similar loss can reduce feelings of isolation and offer comfort and hope.

  • Professional Counselling: Specialised counsellors provide a safe space to talk, feel, and make sense of overwhelming emotions without judgement.

  • Support for Partners and Extended Family: Dads, partners, grandparents, and siblings need support too, even if their grief looks different or is expressed in unique ways.

  • Specialist Help After Subsequent Pregnancies: Parents facing pregnancy again after a previous loss may feel increased anxiety or fear, and it is vital for them to access tailored perinatal mental health care.

If you or someone you know is grieving the death of a baby, reaching out to a support organisation can be lifesaving. There are helplines, online forums, in-person support groups, and even resources for friends and family who wish to help.


Words Matter: Creating Space for Remembrance

Baby loss Awareness Week also emphasises the importance of language, not only in describing baby loss, but in how we talk to and support grieving families. Listening without judgement, using the baby’s name, and acknowledging anniversaries or special days are small gestures that mean a great deal. Families need space for their grief, their memories, and their ongoing relationship with their baby.


Hope and Advocacy

While nothing can erase the pain of baby loss, continued advocacy is leading to improved care and support services. The extraordinary courage of families who share their stories informs healthcare improvements, shapes public understanding, and brings about changes in bereavement care. As we light candles, display ribbons, and speak our babies’ names during Baby loss Awareness Week, we reaffirm that every baby matters and every family deserves care, respect, and understanding.



About the Author: 

woman in the foreground with long brown hair, smiling to the camera. The background is a green field

Karen Lafferty is a BACP Accredited counsellor, supervisor and mental health trainer. Karen has specialised in supporting client and grief practitioners since 2016, and has an online private practice working with people from across the UK. For more information you can access her website at www.continuumcounselling.com or connect with her on Instagram and Facebook @continuumcounselling 







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