Grief Unedited (S2: E1) More Than Just a Goodbye: Why Your Funeral Doesn't Have to Be Dull with celebrant Chris Ferri.

If you’ve ever sat through a funeral and thought, “This doesn’t really sound like the person I knew,” you’re not alone.

In the latest episode of Grief Unedited, I had a chance to catch up with my long time friend, Chris Ferri.  Now, Chris isn't your "traditional" funeral figure - he actually spent years running a gym before finding his calling as a celebrant. If you’re from Lanarkshire, chances are you’ve either trained at Ferri Fit, or know someone who does. Chris agreed to join me for an episode in his new role as a celebrant and we had a really honest chat about what happens behind the scenes when a family is planning a goodbye, and I wanted to share a few things he told me that really shifted my perspective.

1. Celebrant vs. Humanist: What’s the difference?

I get asked this a lot, and Chris cleared it up beautifully. Think of it this way: a Humanist service is strictly "no-religion." No hymns, no prayers, no mentions of God.

A Celebrant, on the other hand, is like the "middle ground." Chris explained that his job is to be whatever the family needs. If you want a service that’s 90% funny stories but you also want to sing All Things Bright and Beautiful because it was your gran’s favourite? A celebrant says, "Absolutely." It’s all about the person.

2. It’s about "Painting a Picture" at the funeral

Chris said something that really stuck with me. He said his goal isn't just to read a biography of dates and places. His goal is to paint a picture. He wants to capture the tiny, quirky details like the way someone made their tea, their favourite catchphrases, or that one time they made a fool of themselves at a wedding. He told me that if the guests can close their eyes and "see" the person through his words, he’s done his job. It’s about making sure the service feels like them.

3. Grief isn't just "sad" (it can be pretty angry, too)

We often expect funerals to be quiet and sombre, but Chris reminded me that grief is messy. Sometimes, families are angry, especially if a death was sudden or preventable.

He shared a story about a family who seemed really difficult at first. Instead of getting defensive, Chris just gave the daughter a hug. It turned out they weren't "difficult" people; they were just broken-hearted because of medical errors involved in their mum’s care. It was a huge reminder that the people working in the bereavement industry aren't just speakers - they’re emotional shock absorbers.

4. There’s room for a laugh

One of the loveliest things Chris mentioned was how much laughter there can be. It’s okay to have a "cheeky" service if the person was a bit of a character. Funerals don’t have to be stiff and formal to be respectful. In fact, sometimes a well-timed joke or a funny memory is exactly what the family needs to start breathing again.

The Takeaway

The biggest thing I took away from our chat is that the "bereavement industry" is changing for the better. It’s becoming less about "the way things have always been done" and more about "the way this person lived."

If you’ve got 30 minutes, I’d love for you to listen to the full episode here. Equally, if you want to watch the episode, the You Tube video is below! Chris is so down-to-earth, and I think you’ll find his perspective as refreshing as I did.

And hey, if you’re enjoying these chats, feel free to Buy Me a Coffee. It helps me keep the mic on and these conversations coming! It's also really helpful if you can leave a comment or like & share episodes from your streaming platform as this helps us spread the word...