Understanding the Connection Between Grief and Anxiety

Understanding Grief and Anxiety: Coping with Grief

Grief and anxiety are two of the most difficult emotional experiences we can face. Both are deeply human, and both can shake our sense of safety, stability, and wellbeing. While many people think of them as separate issues, they are often closely connected.

If you’re grieving and finding anxiety creeping in, or if anxiety has worsened since a loss, you are not alone, and what you’re experiencing makes sense.

In this article, we’ll gently explore:

• Why grief and anxiety often go hand in hand

• The impact of grief and anxiety on daily life

• What grief‑related anxiety can look like in your body and mind

• Practical, compassionate ways to cope with both grief and anxiety

• When and where to seek support if things feel too heavy to manage on your own

Why Anxiety Often Increases After Losing a Loved One

Grief is a natural and very personal response to loss. It doesn’t follow neat stages or timelines, and no two people will ever grieve in the same way. Anxiety often shows up alongside grief, and sometimes it can feel confusing or even frightening, especially if you weren’t experiencing anxiety before your loss.

Here are some reasons grief and anxiety often become intertwined:

1. Grief Brings a Sense of Uncertainty

When we lose someone important, life can suddenly feel unstable. Routines are disrupted, and the future may feel unclear. This sense of groundlessness can spark anxiety, as it’s natural to feel uneasy in a world that no longer looks the same.

2. Emotions Feel Overpowering

Grief is full of ups and downs often feeling like a whirlwind of complex emotions. Anxiety can magnify these emotions further, making it harder to soothe ourselves. This looping makes daily coping feel more challenging.

3. Intrusive Thoughts That Keep Spinning

Many grieving people find themselves stuck in mental loops: replaying final moments, regretting things left unsaid, or worrying about facing life without their loved one. These ruminations feed anxiety and can leave us feeling restless or unable to switch off.

4. Grief and Anxiety Affect Both Mind and Body

Symptoms like racing heart, shallow breathing, muscle tension, headaches, or stomach problems are common in both grief and anxiety. Recognising these as normal bodily responses to stress and loss can make them feel less frightening. It is also important to acknowledge that if these symptoms are persistent, or you are worried by them, reach out to your GP and make them aware you are grieving. 

How Grief and Anxiety Can Affect Daily Life

The interplay between grief and anxiety can impact many areas of a person’s life. Understanding how they show up can help you know what you’re experiencing and why it’s difficult.

1. Complicated Grief and Feeling Stuck

Sometimes, grief and anxiety together create a prolonged, intense grieving experience called complicated grief. Instead of softening with time, feelings remain raw and overwhelming, making it hard to function day to day. If you’re feeling that your grief is getting more difficult to manage as the months are passing, please do reach out to your GP or mental health professional to discuss your concerns.

2. Struggling to Cope With Everyday Demands

Tasks that once felt simple such as cooking, organising finances, replying to messages , can feel daunting when grief and anxiety are present. The mental load can feel exhausting, adding to the sense of being overwhelmed.

3. Withdrawing from Friends or Family

Anxiety can make social situations feel unmanageable. At the same time, grief often brings a sense of loneliness (“no one truly understands what I’m going through”). Unfortunately, this isolation can deepen both grief and anxiety. We know that being around people who feel safe to us can help us regulate our emotions, and also feel less alone in our experience. 

4. Impact on Physical Health

Over time, the stress of grief and anxiety together can affect sleep, weaken the immune system, and increase risks to physical health. Noticing and tending to your body’s signals by resting, moving gently, and seeking medical advice when needed is just as important as tending to your emotional wellbeing.

Practical Ways to Manage Grief and Anxiety After Loss

There’s no quick fix for grief, and anxiety in grief is not a sign of weakness.  It is the body and mind’s response to profound change. Still, there are small, supportive steps that can bring relief:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgement

Saying to yourself, “I feel anxious today” or “I feel overwhelmed by grief” validates your emotions instead of pushing them away. Giving yourself permission to feel what you feel is a first step to easing pressure.

2. Practice Gentle Grounding or Mindfulness

Simple breathing exercises, walking in nature, or paying attention to what you can see, hear, and feel in the moment can calm the nervous system. These small practices can make anxious moments feel more manageable.

3. Journaling or Letter Writing

Writing down looping thoughts or “what ifs” can ease the mental noise. Try a therapeutic letter to your loved one, sharing updates, feelings, or words you didn’t get to say. This not only reduces anxiety but also honours connection.

4. Create Anchoring Rituals of Remembrance

Lighting a candle, creating a memory box, visiting a special place, or telling stories can help you feel connected to your loved one while easing the anxiety of change. Rituals provide stability amid uncertainty.

5. Reach Out to Others

Isolation makes grief and anxiety harder. Speaking with a trusted friend, joining a support group, or talking to a counsellor provides a safe place to share and be witnessed. Often people say relief comes not from solutions, but from not feeling alone.

When Should You Get Professional Help for Grief and Anxiety?

While grief is natural, there are times when additional support is important. Consider reaching out to a counsellor, therapist, or GP if you notice:

• Anxiety that feels constant or unmanageable

• Trouble functioning in daily life even months after the loss

• Significant sleep problems or physical health issues

• Persistent feelings of loneliness and disconnection

• Grief that feels “frozen” or stuck rather than gradually changing

Professional support can give you a safe and compassionate place to explore your emotions, develop coping tools, and learn how to carry both love and grief side by side.

Closing Thought

Grief is one of the hardest parts of being human, but it is also deeply connected to love. Anxiety often joins grief in complicated, sometimes overwhelming ways. If this has been your experience, please know you’re not alone. You are responding in very human ways to a painful loss.

Healing does not mean forgetting. It means learning, gently and in your own time, how to live alongside both grief and love. As you take steps forward, be patient with yourself. Reach out for support when you need it, from friends, from groups, from professionals. You do not have to do this alone.

About the Author: 

Karen Lafferty is a BACP Accredited counsellor, supervisor and mental health trainer. Karen has specialised in supporting client and grief practitioners since 2016, and has an online private practice working with people from across the UK. For more information you can access her website at www.continuumcounselling.com or connect with her on instagram and facebook @continuumcounselling 

References:

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2. Boelen, P. A., Lenferink, L. I., & Smid, G. E. (2015). Cognitive–behavioral variables mediate the association between rumination and PTSD and complicated grief symptoms. Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 203(10), 717-722.

3. Prigerson, H. G., & Maciejewski, P. K. (2005). Grief and acceptance as opposite sides of the same coin: Setting a research agenda to study peaceful acceptance of loss. British Journal of Psychiatry, 186(6), 1-2.

4. Zisook, S., & Shear, M. K. (2009). Grief and bereavement: what psychiatrists need to know. World Psychiatry, 8(2), 67-74.